{a personal post : bye bye 2014, my last blog for a little while, happy new year, 2015 – 8, new beginnings, cycles, the universe, etc etc…}

31 Dec

wow.

so i’m sitting here… alone… with my baba black lager. it’s new year’s eve. the last day of 2014. the final day in this calendar  year… 2014 was a numerology #7. 2015 will be a numerology #8. i could write a whole blog about the significance of numbers, etc. i just think cycles are so interesting… cycles of all kinds… the seasons, numbers, etc.

does anyone else get all weird on this day? like, it’s just another day really… but somehow i find the energy to be soooooo … intense. in many ways.

like, i woke up restless – what’s that about? and i slept for like, 9 hours last night.

oh yeah, it’s not just because it’s new year’s eve… it’s because things are changing… again. at least for me, personally… in my life, everything is changing… including where i live… i’m saying good-bye to the tiny home… with a bittersweet feeling in my heart.

you know they say that the only constant in life is change. how funny is that!? like, well – you can guarantee this – stuff’s gonna be different tomorrow. not everything will be different, but a lot of it will… because that’s how life rolls… it doesn’t care if we are ready for the change or not… it just keeps on changing. people change, astrology changes, rules change, the weather changes, laws change, … most things around us do NOT stay the same… including the people in our lives, and those we love.

so what’s my point? 

i dunno, maybe i don’t have one. maybe i just wanted to sit down in front of my computer and keep it real with you readers… and myself.  maybe i’m tired of trying to “keep it together” all the time… as in, always having the perfect thing to say and taking so much time to think about how to express myself… because i’m so scared of being misunderstood. maybe i just wanted to be spontaneous and sit down and write while i felt the desire, the thoughts flowing, the keys being struck with force and purpose… maybe i want to just say whatever i feel and not be worried about how everyone else is gonna perceive it…

maybe i’m just feeling the baba… ;)

so how do you feel about the idea that the only thing we can be sure of is that things change… how does that make you feel? is it comforting to know that with each moonset and each sunrise, that life can end and begin all over again?!  does that give you peace to know that tomorrow… tomorrow… the sun will come out?! or does it make you kinda crazy to know that you can’t ever really count on anything?! does it give you total anxiety to feel like as soon as you get comfortable with something or someone, there is damn good potential for it to morph into something else entirely and seem completely illusive?!

i feel like there is a balance… as with most things in life.

most days i’m so thankful to begin anew… to wipe clean the “yesterday” that never really exists in the first place… to wake feeling renewed and purposeful again. i learned a lot about the beauty in each new day when i lived in new york… it’s amazing how that city just doesn’t stop for anything… it doesn’t care if you didn’t get the memo, it doesn’t care if you aren’t walking fast enough, if you missed your subway stop, or if you aren’t feeling its embrace. when living there, i had to learn how to be so completely present that nothing seemed to really effect me to the point of not being able to continue to be in the moment.

my challenge this year is to get back to that space…

i’ve been practically beating my head against the wall trying to figure out where i went… what happened to the person that seemed to be able to really stay in the moment… to embrace it even when it was chaotic, unpredictable, and sometimes down-right scary.  where did that audrey go that i spent 29 years trying to find when i met her in new york?!

she didn’t go anywhere… it took me all of 2014 to realize that.

i mean, seriously. just this past week i had the total epiphany that nothing is “wrong” with me… and if there is in fact anything that i feel uncomfortable with – that I, personally, have the power to change it. i can and always do create change in my life when i am feeling a need for it. sometimes it’s not always clear to me, but it’s almost like i do things without even thinking sometimes… and then when i’m on the other side of it, i go, “oh yeah… i see why we did this.”

i guess that’s true with everything in life… hindsight is 20/20, right?!

well, all i know is… i’m feeling more comfortable with change… dare i say, i’m embracing it. i’m not saying i love “change” during every moment while i’m in it… but i’m okay with the idea that everything seems “fleeting…” because really… if it’s true that the only constant in life is change… well, then i wanna make sure to be so immersed in each passing moment, that i love it for what it is… recognizing that it will never again be the same… that each moment really is a gift. maybe it’s not a gift wrapped in colourful paper and bows, maybe it’s not a gift we asked for… maybe it’s a gift we didn’t realize we needed.

but it’s still a gift… if we can be open to receiving it…

personally, i’m feeling happy to be letting go something while completely surrendering to something new and exciting. for me, my personal changes happen to coincide with the calendar change… but i’ve always been a firm believer that you can choose to make a change at any given moment in your life. you don’t have to have anyone validate your decision to change, you don’t have to have a party or mark it on your calendar… hell, you don’t even have to invite anyone. you can choose to make changes in your life while washing your dishes… you can choose to create a new life while driving to work… there are no rules for that. you can live life on your terms, but in order to do so, you must live life on your terms.

does THAT give you comfort?!  it sure does me… :)

so, as i ring in the new year and celebrate new beginnings, my heart is filled with gratitude for all the loving people, places, and things i’ve experienced. i just want to continue to hold a space of gratitude… and to be open to new things as i step boldly out of the familiar and into the unknown…

happy new year! – to each and every one of you. thank you for following my blog, for engaging and for taking time to read and give this blog purpose… i’m truly grateful to each one of you.

<3

 p.s. – i’m not gone forever… just a temporary hiatus while i adjust to some new things… i’ll be back to blogging in no time… 

{a holiday haiku}

24 Dec

xmasbokeh-2

sometimes the best gift

can’t be put into a box…

unwrap love all year.

<3

{some virtual holiday haps}

16 Dec

hey gang – how’s winter treating you?

i really don’t wanna jinx it, but this time last year we had like double the amount of snow, if not triple, that we do now. we had a storm blow through this weekend, but nothing really accumulated or even fell from the clouds. i’ll probably get chastised for saying this, but i am perfectly fine without all that cold white stuff. {i do, however, like to see it flurrying down my screen from wordpress tech wonderland…}

xmaspics-3

i’m still in the holiday spirit, though. my tiny tree has been up in the tiny home since thanksgiving weekend and i’ve been watching tons of christmas movies and listening to christmas albums. i save “home alone” for christmas day – i wouldn’t say it’s my favourite, but it’s just one of those classics i have to watch every year. my favourite christmas movie ever is probably “love actually<3

what’s your favourite christmas movie?!

weekinfotos120114-17

i also plan on pretty much not taking off this santa hat until december 26th. i have two cowlicks in my hair and when it’s short it’s fine, and when it’s long it’s fine… but i’m in the funky “growing out my hair” phase and sometimes throwing on a hat is the only way to get through my day and be happy about my hair. this time last year, it was about the same length, but i got impatient and cut it all off. this time, i will persevere! :P

weekinfotos120114-1

occasionally we get some really cool clouds up here. have you been looking up in wonder at the sky lately? …you should, and often.

weekinfotos120114-2

LOVE : that wonderful feeling that can present itself in many forms. and sometimes the only place to find it is in a sticker plastered on a bench at a bus-stop… but it’s still there! <3

weekinfotos120114-5

a random salad i whipped up : brussel sprouts, cabbage, bacon, tart cherries, flax seeds, and parmesan cheese in a french vinaigrette. i admit i do not eat nearly as many cold salads in the winter… i just can’t get down with cold food in the cold months. but i do try to squeeze in some raw greens when the mood strikes me.

xmaspics-1

as a child of the 90’s, peace signs were kind of cool when i was growing up. we drew them on our notebooks, put pins on our backpacks, some of us even got tattoos of the peace sign!  but it’s kind of weird to me that you don’t often see it anymore – at least not like we did when i was a kid. seeing this peace sign drawn in permanent cement made me smile – it’s there forever, dammit! :P

xmaspics-2

something so simple as a wreath does so much for my holiday spirit.  perhaps they remind me of my mom, in a way… i am pretty sure she would make them and we always had them on our doors, growing up. my neighbour thoughtfully bought me this wreath for the tiny house door… Continue reading

{eat the rainbow : purple sweet potatoes}

11 Dec

purplesweetpotatoes-12

i get super excited when i see a rainbow on my plate. it just makes me happy to eat COLOUR!  and these wonderful bright purple sweet potatoes please both the palate and the eye.

purplesweetpotatoes-1purplesweetpotatoes-2

i love how they grow in weird shapes, too.

have you ever had a purple sweet potato? i was first introduced to them many years ago at whole foods, as they tend to get the “cool” produce a lot. since then i have been seeing them in mainstream supermarkets and grocery stores, as well. unlike purple potatoes, these do not lose colour when you cook them.  in fact, they get BRIGHTER! it’s the coolest thing. Continue reading

{homemade nutrient-dense beef bone broth}

7 Dec

bonebroth-1

it seems like bone broth is all the rage these days. everyone is talking about it, bloggers are writing about it, and i see articles in random magazines about it, too. i also find it funny that food has like, fads. i mean – i figure diets have fads because that is essentially what “dieting” is… but it just tickles me when i notice certain “food trends”… you know what i mean?! nevertheless, i’d be lying if i didn’t say i recently jumped on the bandwagon regarding bone broth. :P

———

WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL WITH BONE BROTH, ANYWAY?!

- bone broth is ancestral food – our grandma’s grandmas probably made it all the time!

- bone broth contains many nutrients such as calcium, magnesium, phosphorus.

- bone broth is also high in beauty-supporting collagen and amino acids.

- bone broth is comforting, and great for those days we feel “under the weather.”

- bone broth supports a healthy gut and intestinal-lining.

- bone broth contains joint-supporting gelatin, glucosamine, and chondroitin.

- bone broth is very cost-effective and you can control the ingredients when you make it yourself!

———

anyway, my cute little store sells beef bones with the marrow included, which is what you want for making broth.  i’ve read several articles and books about the benefits of ancient cooking and bone broth is something that always seems to be at the top of the list for overall health-boosting properties. i usually opt for a veggie broth when i am stocking the pantry.  however, i couldn’t pass up the opportunity to make something new from scratch.  i just love to create things. plus, understanding the health benefits of bone broth make it extra appealing to me.

after perusing several recipes and suggestions, i did what audrey typically does and i created my own version of bone broth.  this entire batch {which made about a gallon} cost me around $4.00. try comparing that to the stocks or broths you find in the store… it simply doesn’t.  nor does the nutritional value.

beefbroth-2

ingredient guidelines for bone broth :

- 2 lbs grass-fed beef bones

- 2 large carrots, chopped

- 2 celery stalks, chopped

- 1 yellow onion, chopped 

- 3 cloves garlic, chopped

– 2 tbsp apple cider vinegar

3 or 4 sprigs fresh parsley {optional}

– 1 bay leaf {optional}

Continue reading

{red kuri squash risotto}

3 Dec

it’s comfort-food season!

i will preface this post by saying that this dish, albeit exquisite, took a little time to make. typically i prefer my meals to be a little more “easy breezy” to prepare… however, this one is oh-so-worth the time and effort!

redkuririsotto-7

and let me reiterate – this dish is absolutely DIVINE! i totally love risotto any way i can get it, really… it’s one of my staple dishes, for sure. when i discovered this new squash, i was inspired to fuse it with some risotto and eventually make it into risotto balls.

risotto is hearty and filling while still being gluten-free, which i kind of love. the red kuri squash is in its prime season right now and it is just beautiful! full of vitamin a {that lovely colour!} and potassium [like most squash}, it added so much flavour to this amazing dish!

redkuririsotto-1redkuririsotto-2

red kuri squash is delicious on its own, too. the flavour is reminiscent of chestnuts, and the flesh has a rich and creamy consistency when cooked.

risotto itself is very simple, it’s just a little time consuming to make. the ratio for making risotto is about 1:4 – one cup rice to 4 cups liquid. you can use a blend of water and broth or just water or just broth.  i tend to mix it up a little, but typically i use broth. the key {and magical} ingredient in making risotto is white wine. you can use any ol’ wine – cooking wine, cheap stuff at the liquor store, whatever.  but it must be dry and it must be included! the wine gives the risotto TONS of flavour and really rounds out the dish. Continue reading

{words to live by}

27 Nov

thankfulsnow-1

——–

I’M SORRY

I LOVE YOU

PLEASE FORGIVE ME

THANK YOU

———

today, and every day…

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,365 other followers

%d bloggers like this: