Tag Archives: change

{thirsty thursday : new belgium’s pumpkick brew!}

17 Sep

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it’s just around the bend… that wonderful feeling in the air, as summer transitions to autumn… this is, afterall, my favourite time of year… and i humbly and somewhat eagerly welcome the change of seasons {both literally – in nature, and figuratively – in my own life} as i toast with a yummy, beautiful brew — pumpkick, from new belgium… and goodness, they sure know what they’re doing when it comes to beer!

and i’m slowly learning what i’m doing when it comes to life…

 

SLAINTE!

 

{a personal post : bye bye 2014, my last blog for a little while, happy new year, 2015 – 8, new beginnings, cycles, the universe, etc etc…}

31 Dec

wow.

so i’m sitting here… alone… with my baba black lager. it’s new year’s eve. the last day of 2014. the final day in this calendar  year… 2014 was a numerology #7. 2015 will be a numerology #8. i could write a whole blog about the significance of numbers, etc. i just think cycles are so interesting… cycles of all kinds… the seasons, numbers, etc.

does anyone else get all weird on this day? like, it’s just another day really… but somehow i find the energy to be soooooo … intense. in many ways.

like, i woke up restless – what’s that about? and i slept for like, 9 hours last night.

oh yeah, it’s not just because it’s new year’s eve… it’s because things are changing… again. at least for me, personally… in my life, everything is changing… including where i live… i’m saying good-bye to the tiny home… with a bittersweet feeling in my heart.

you know they say that the only constant in life is change. how funny is that!? like, well – you can guarantee this – stuff’s gonna be different tomorrow. not everything will be different, but a lot of it will… because that’s how life rolls… it doesn’t care if we are ready for the change or not… it just keeps on changing. people change, astrology changes, rules change, the weather changes, laws change, … most things around us do NOT stay the same… including the people in our lives, and those we love.

so what’s my point? 

i dunno, maybe i don’t have one. maybe i just wanted to sit down in front of my computer and keep it real with you readers… and myself.  maybe i’m tired of trying to “keep it together” all the time… as in, always having the perfect thing to say and taking so much time to think about how to express myself… because i’m so scared of being misunderstood. maybe i just wanted to be spontaneous and sit down and write while i felt the desire, the thoughts flowing, the keys being struck with force and purpose… maybe i want to just say whatever i feel and not be worried about how everyone else is gonna perceive it…

maybe i’m just feeling the baba… 😉

so how do you feel about the idea that the only thing we can be sure of is that things change… how does that make you feel? is it comforting to know that with each moonset and each sunrise, that life can end and begin all over again?!  does that give you peace to know that tomorrow… tomorrow… the sun will come out?! or does it make you kinda crazy to know that you can’t ever really count on anything?! does it give you total anxiety to feel like as soon as you get comfortable with something or someone, there is damn good potential for it to morph into something else entirely and seem completely illusive?!

i feel like there is a balance… as with most things in life.

most days i’m so thankful to begin anew… to wipe clean the “yesterday” that never really exists in the first place… to wake feeling renewed and purposeful again. i learned a lot about the beauty in each new day when i lived in new york… it’s amazing how that city just doesn’t stop for anything… it doesn’t care if you didn’t get the memo, it doesn’t care if you aren’t walking fast enough, if you missed your subway stop, or if you aren’t feeling its embrace. when living there, i had to learn how to be so completely present that nothing seemed to really effect me to the point of not being able to continue to be in the moment.

my challenge this year is to get back to that space…

i’ve been practically beating my head against the wall trying to figure out where i went… what happened to the person that seemed to be able to really stay in the moment… to embrace it even when it was chaotic, unpredictable, and sometimes down-right scary.  where did that audrey go that i spent 29 years trying to find when i met her in new york?!

she didn’t go anywhere… it took me all of 2014 to realize that.

i mean, seriously. just this past week i had the total epiphany that nothing is “wrong” with me… and if there is in fact anything that i feel uncomfortable with – that I, personally, have the power to change it. i can and always do create change in my life when i am feeling a need for it. sometimes it’s not always clear to me, but it’s almost like i do things without even thinking sometimes… and then when i’m on the other side of it, i go, “oh yeah… i see why we did this.”

i guess that’s true with everything in life… hindsight is 20/20, right?!

well, all i know is… i’m feeling more comfortable with change… dare i say, i’m embracing it. i’m not saying i love “change” during every moment while i’m in it… but i’m okay with the idea that everything seems “fleeting…” because really… if it’s true that the only constant in life is change… well, then i wanna make sure to be so immersed in each passing moment, that i love it for what it is… recognizing that it will never again be the same… that each moment really is a gift. maybe it’s not a gift wrapped in colourful paper and bows, maybe it’s not a gift we asked for… maybe it’s a gift we didn’t realize we needed.

but it’s still a gift… if we can be open to receiving it…

personally, i’m feeling happy to be letting go something while completely surrendering to something new and exciting. for me, my personal changes happen to coincide with the calendar change… but i’ve always been a firm believer that you can choose to make a change at any given moment in your life. you don’t have to have anyone validate your decision to change, you don’t have to have a party or mark it on your calendar… hell, you don’t even have to invite anyone. you can choose to make changes in your life while washing your dishes… you can choose to create a new life while driving to work… there are no rules for that. you can live life on your terms, but in order to do so, you must live life on your terms.

does THAT give you comfort?!  it sure does me… 🙂

so, as i ring in the new year and celebrate new beginnings, my heart is filled with gratitude for all the loving people, places, and things i’ve experienced. i just want to continue to hold a space of gratitude… and to be open to new things as i step boldly out of the familiar and into the unknown…

happy new year! – to each and every one of you. thank you for following my blog, for engaging and for taking time to read and give this blog purpose… i’m truly grateful to each one of you.

 p.s. – i’m not gone forever… just a temporary hiatus while i adjust to some new things… i’ll be back to blogging in no time… 

{reflections of love}

27 Oct

“your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~rumi

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i love love love this quote!

as i was looking for a foto to post today, i thought about reflections… and how as individuals, we are all reflections – of each other.  any time you like something in another person, you are really liking or honouring something within yourself – a quality you possess, albeit possibly dormant.  and likewise, if there is something you do NOT like within another, it is often something you really don’t like within yourself… think about it.

so i say – let’s just try to focus on the things we love about ourselves and each other – since we are basically mirrors anyway, why not work to be the most benevolent mirror ever – so that when someone is in your presence, the only thing that will be reflected back to them…

…is LOVE.

🙂

{“painting with light”, while celebrating the autumn equinox}

24 Sep

nothin’ like a little fire-dancin’ to appreciate summer and welcome autumn… light-painting is COOL!!! 😀

{most of these images were taken with a 10-second exposure… fun stuff!}

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spiral!

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hearts and crescents.

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infinity. Continue reading

{ch-ch-ch-ch-changes…}

22 Sep

hey everyone, happy sunday.  and happy first day of autumn!!

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this is my favey-fav season, and not just because i was born in it 😉  but i do tend to thrive in autumn… i love the colours of course, and the calming down from summer, snuggling and cozying in and slowing down… i just love all that autumn brings along with it.

i’m just relaxing and enjoying my half-caff americano* and was thinking about how many blogs i want to catch up on.

*{that reminds me of this funny thing that happened and i took a foto of it}

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🙂

my life has shifted so drastically in the month of september, that i just haven’t had time to keep up with the blog like i wanted to.  plus – a huge rebirthing is in order here at foodandfoto.com.  on a personal level, i have grown and “re-birthed” on my own so much, that it’s only fitting the blog shifts along with me.  i’m not exactly sure what that will look like yet, but do stay tuned – some big changes are on the way! Continue reading

{foto friday – i miss this hair, this moment, and this part of lower manhattan}

28 Jun

missing new york and hair long-enough to pull in a ponytail…

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i’ll get there soon… it’s growing sort of fast{ish}… okay not really at all.  and i hate to blame it on colorado but i do… my hair always behaves funny here and it’s nothing like my east-coast hair…

whatever… sigh.

and on that note, have a great weekend!  mercury is retrograde, in case you didn’t know… there is lots of information out there for those of you interested in reading more… just do a search.  and be patient as you may encounter delays as per the very essence of MR.  even as i typed this blog, my keyboard kept freezing up.  and my music was skipping… haha.

one day i’ll talk about how i was born under MR.  it’s rare, as am i… and usually i can articulate myself a little more effectively when mercury is slowing down for those few weeks every 4 months…

aaannnyway, enjoy the weekend!! 🙂

{messages from manhattan – “wake up!”}

17 May

i’ve decided to start something new – a “feature” on my blog.  i’m going to call it “messages from manhattan” and it will showcase fotos of various sayings or quotes or the like that i noticed and fotographed all over the city during the time i lived there…

here’s one of my all time favs :

New York City

wake up!  and have a great weekend.

{oNeLoVe}

{whatever wednesday} — whatever!

9 Jan

seriously though – whatever.

i mean, i have so much to catch you all up on.  not only delicious food and drinks but also photos and updates on practically everything.  my entire life has shifted and there is an abundant amount of change occurring in every corner… not only in my own life, but in everything i see around me.

i moved recently.  totally different environment. it just happened so fast, everything is happening so fast… it’s for the best, and i’m just going to trust my heart on this one… still in the transitional period, but am integrating well…

my diet is changing more and more every day.  i cleansed for a few weeks prior to 12/21 – and i’m sure that effected my body.  i’ve noticed now that i can’t tolerate certain foods anymore… i literally spit out a piece of ham over the holidays.  i’m not one for eating much meat anyway, but i like to savour it as a treat on special occasions.  i couldn’t eat it.  i don’t know if it was the salt or if my body is just that smart but i was like, “okay, i can’t eat pork anymore, ever.”  i also have been eating less wheat. even though it’s not prevalent in my diet, i can’t stomach it much anymore… it’s hard for me to digest.  i recognize this and so i just listen to what my body is telling me… dairy.  ohhh – damn you, dairy!  i haven’t really been one to drink a lot of milk or eat a lot of ice cream {i’m kind of lying on that one} but i do loves me some cheese. mm mm, but ohhhhh no i can’t do it anymore. some are better than others – parmesan and feta aren’t so bad.  i’m pretty much down to a vegan diet lately. and i don’t like soy products or highly processed foods, so that basically keeps me down to eating almost a raw organic diet.  and i guess i’m mentioning this because it could greatly shift what this blog is all about.  it’s a new year, and mine has been off to a start full of change and i’m free-flowing in the wind… a blank canvas.

what else?!  so i moved, i’m vegan… oh, my meditations are getting better.  i had a lull for a bit, but i feel like i’m back on track and in a good practice again.  and there is something happening in my life in the field of love – and it’s powerful.  my heart is transforming, that’s all i can say for now…

i began writing a book. mostly about my life… particularly, what i went through shortly before, during, and after the shift of the calendar day december 21, 2012… the end of the mayan calendar… my life hasn’t been the same since….  it’s gonna be a good one! 🙂

my grandmother passed away.  i’m flying back east to be with my family for a few days – that is the blessing in disguise about these things… it’s always nice to see family, but it’s a lousy reason to get together… it’s okay, i’m at peace about it, no doubt.

so… i’ll be back next week and i hope to use the new moon energy from friday to catapult me into the next phase.  i’m keeping my heart wide open, and making decisions only from that place… because it FEELS RIGHT.

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still seeing these everywhere i go…

{foto friday} — LOVE actually is… all around.

4 Jan

well – for me, it seems to be EVERYWHERE i look lately — even my toilet paper has a heart-pattern on it.

the truth is – i’m changing, and therefore – so is the world i {we} live in.

LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE

{kind of looks like “evolve” in there, eh?!}

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LOVE this scarf… i just might have to wear it every day 😉

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🙂

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everywhere… Continue reading

{whatever wordy wednesday} — a heart-shaped sweet potato and my alter-ego, “magenta ellis”

12 Dec

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“you always buy the unique-looking produce… the ones no one else wants, the oddballs, the misfits!” — a coworker said to me.

it’s true.

i like anything out of the ordinary. because me?! – i’m out of the ordinary…… i mean we are all unique, just like everyone else, right?!

but i’m a very old soul… and i’ve seen a LOT in my some 10 thousand years… and in my current waking life, i often feel like some of the fruits and vegetables i buy – discarded, overlooked, passed-by, out-casted, and just plain weird.  but dude, i’m totally still edible – and you know – some things get better with age… 😉

well… i found this potato particularly interesting because it kind of represented me.  not only was it heart-shaped, as i obviously am, and which i find a lot of random things that find their way into my visual path are, but it is also kind of two different colours.  it almost looks as if a garnet yam and a jewel yam are intertwined.  it got me thinking about how i believe we all have a duality to us. i was having a conversation with a friend about all the changes going on in the world right now – the talk of 2012 doomsday, or the hope of a 2012 arising – in love and light, and consciousness, perhaps? and we were discussing how we all have a “dark side” — and some of us publicly show it with acts of violence or utter projection as to inflict sheer pain on the person receiving it, and some of us albeit perhaps not as violent, still keep it very much hidden, which can take a TON of conscious effort. Continue reading

{travel tuesday} — i recall… central park and fall…

30 Oct

it’s really hard to imagine new york city under water right now.  the subway is shutdown, 1.5 million people without power – my former roommate included. I WAS JUST IN NEW YORK LAST WEEKEND!!!  i’m so glad i dodged the bullet that is frankenstorm.  my heart goes out to all of those who are struggling from the effects of this monstrous event.  of course, i’ll always think of new york when i think of the east coast.

last night, i was watching the david letterman show and as he was listing the “top ten rejected frankenstorm names” i began to wonder why no one was laughing… “too soon?!”, i thought… but then i realized that no one was in the audience, and he was recording anyway. jimmy fallon did the same thing.

here is a little article about it – classic.

so here’s what central park would probably look like in the next couple weeks, if the rain hasn’t totally bogged it down…

Continue reading

{wordy wednesday} — leaves of change

5 Sep

i have seriously been sitting at my computer all morning – i started 3 different blogs, got distracted, ate breakfast, cried a little {good cry}, and then started all over.  i blame nicki minaj.  i have been listening to the song “fly” on repeat since i woke up.  it’s my new theme song.  my favourite lyrics :

“Everybody wanna try to box me in
Suffocating every time it locks me in
Paint their own pictures then they crop me in
But I will remain where the top begins
Cause I am not a word, I am not a line
I am not a girl that can ever be defined

I am not fly, I am levitation
I represent an entire generation…” Continue reading

“i see you” {AKA audrey michelle’s very emotional, real, and cathartic DIY cleanse update}

21 Jul

well, here it is – the official “end” i suppose.

{oh and by the way, this is one LONG AND WORDY POST!  be forewarned.}

i made it 5 whole days {entering my 6th now} eating only raw or steamed organic fruits and vegetables, juice, water and kombucha.  funny thing is, i don’t think i’m going to stop.  i had absolutely no idea how this cleanse would effect me – i certainly didn’t fathom it effecting me more on an emotional level than physical.  and i dare say – spiritual.  it almost brings tears to my eyes {again} as i write this.

yesterday was rough.  the worst day to date.  so why the hell would i want to keep putting myself through this?! good question… Continue reading

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