Tag Archives: wordy wednesday

{whatever wordy wednesday} — a heart-shaped sweet potato and my alter-ego, “magenta ellis”

12 Dec

heartshapedpotato-1

“you always buy the unique-looking produce… the ones no one else wants, the oddballs, the misfits!” — a coworker said to me.

it’s true.

i like anything out of the ordinary. because me?! – i’m out of the ordinary…… i mean we are all unique, just like everyone else, right?!

but i’m a very old soul… and i’ve seen a LOT in my some 10 thousand years… and in my current waking life, i often feel like some of the fruits and vegetables i buy – discarded, overlooked, passed-by, out-casted, and just plain weird.  but dude, i’m totally still edible – and you know – some things get better with age… 😉

well… i found this potato particularly interesting because it kind of represented me.  not only was it heart-shaped, as i obviously am, and which i find a lot of random things that find their way into my visual path are, but it is also kind of two different colours.  it almost looks as if a garnet yam and a jewel yam are intertwined.  it got me thinking about how i believe we all have a duality to us. i was having a conversation with a friend about all the changes going on in the world right now – the talk of 2012 doomsday, or the hope of a 2012 arising – in love and light, and consciousness, perhaps? and we were discussing how we all have a “dark side” — and some of us publicly show it with acts of violence or utter projection as to inflict sheer pain on the person receiving it, and some of us albeit perhaps not as violent, still keep it very much hidden, which can take a TON of conscious effort. Continue reading

{whatever wednesday} — being OK with being okay…

26 Sep

so… here’s the thing about me… or at least, here’s how things have typically been for me…

although i see the world as very “gray” — i LIVE it very black and white.  what i mean by that is… it has appeared that for me i’m either super high and on top of it creating world peace the whole nine… OR, i’m super down and depressed feeling useless and hopeless and thinking even the flowers are out to get me… there is hardly an in between. seldom did i feel comfortable, content, “in a groove,” or most of all – peaceful.  that wasn’t always something i could FEEL and feel okay with…

i suppose this stems from a shaky childhood and the survival instinct of maturing faster than most due to losing a parent.  it could also have to do with my astrological chart, or the fact that i am a very very impatient old soul… but the truth is, it has always been hard for me to find a balance, or to find some comfort, some love, and some peace in the every day.  i speak of this in past-tense now because i can, because i am confident in saying that i no longer live like that.  i’ve spoken a handful of times now on how i feel i’ve changed over the last year, and am continuing to.  i’ve written about not only feeling the change but seeing it actually play out.  i make conscious choices each day to effect how i see life.  what’s frustrating is when i see people in life for who they are, and all they want to do is fake it — it’s just annoying, because i want to be like “you ain’t foolin’ me” but… i have to be a friggin’ politician about things sometimes and i’m kind of over that…

i digress, as usual. Continue reading

{whatever wednesday} — just a rant about life… and living.

19 Sep

i’ve been thinking a lot lately.  about a lot, lately.

i don’t always have time to sit down and write – and i’m not even writing, i’m typing.  how did people WRITE back in the day?!  this is the kind of stuff i think about… i mean, i know how they did it – it just baffles me when i think about the fact that they did. it blows my mind how much we’ve advanced and yet how much we lack basic knowledge of what i would consider “common” things… for example, basic writing. at one point in our human existence, we had to take a pencil or pen and a whole ream of paper and sit and write what would now be viewable on a 30 plus inch screen.  what gets me all rant-y about it all is that we have no idea how great we have it… we fill our lives with meaningless crap and other people’s ideas of what “life” should be. and LIFE is so very simple, so very easy… if we can but let go and realize that we aren’t living it, IT is living through us… does that make sense? well, at least this is what i believe.

we get to breathe every day.  do you know how much has to exist, work together, and create inside of our bodies for that to happen? it’s ridiculous!  i wish i could go back to like, what? – 9th grade science – and learn all about the human body again… and really pay attention this time.

or just go the library and get a huge book on it.

or google the $h!t out of it. Continue reading

{wordy wednesday} — leaves of change

5 Sep

i have seriously been sitting at my computer all morning – i started 3 different blogs, got distracted, ate breakfast, cried a little {good cry}, and then started all over.  i blame nicki minaj.  i have been listening to the song “fly” on repeat since i woke up.  it’s my new theme song.  my favourite lyrics :

“Everybody wanna try to box me in
Suffocating every time it locks me in
Paint their own pictures then they crop me in
But I will remain where the top begins
Cause I am not a word, I am not a line
I am not a girl that can ever be defined

I am not fly, I am levitation
I represent an entire generation…” Continue reading

{wordy wednesday} – i am.

22 Aug

hello you faithful readers, you.

so much is happening. a lot of energy is coming from everywhere.

i have been through some of the worst – i mean, the worst depression of my life… i’m comfortable in saying that i’m out of it now. i don’t want to think it has potential to ever surface again, but i’m a rational person – it might. however, i feel so completely different lately that i don’t know if it will ever have as much reign over me as it did this bout.  i’m telling you, it was awful. be thankful i didn’t blog about it, even though sometimes i wanted to – just to get it out of my head.

whatever, i don’t want to waste too much energy even talking about the fact that i suffer{ed} from that horrible debilitating condition.  well, it’s the human condition, actually.  suffering, pain, fear, separation… we all deal with it, in some fashion. some of us talk about it, some of us take it out on others, some of us take it out with drugs, some of us live a secluded life avoiding interacting with anything or anyone at all…

i guess my point is, i have so much to write about lately because now that i’m out of that horrible dark tunnel, i see the light and it’s so incredibly bright i can hardly stand it.  it’s like my favourite quote –

“our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  it is our light, not our darkness, which most frightens us.”

yeah.  good stuff.  and so, i’m feeling somewhat like that – only, less afraid, more excited.  i’m like, “holy crap that light is so damn bright – i can’t wait to be sucked up in it and spitting it back out at everything i see!!!” Continue reading

{wordy wednesday} – patience.

15 Aug

well well well.  what do we have here?

i’ve been in colorado for exactly a year now.  i’ve been doing the same job for that entire year.  that’s not normal for me – i’m very progressive, often get promoted quickly, move up quickly, etc.  i just have a go-getter attitude and people usually notice that.  hell, i was promoted within 2 months in new york city to one of the top managers of my store… all i gotta do is flash ’em that smile, usually – 😉

hehehe

well, as the universe would have it, i’ve once again been promoted.  i’m back in my stride, doing my thing, and i have the position i needed and wanted since i moved here.

what has the last year taught me then?  what has all that disappointment, struggle, hardship, nonsense, and hidden truth done for me?!  what has waiting, waiting, and waiting, done for me?!  what have i learned in all that?! Continue reading

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