Tag Archives: patience

{whatever wednesday} — being OK with being okay…

26 Sep

so… here’s the thing about me… or at least, here’s how things have typically been for me…

although i see the world as very “gray” — i LIVE it very black and white.  what i mean by that is… it has appeared that for me i’m either super high and on top of it creating world peace the whole nine… OR, i’m super down and depressed feeling useless and hopeless and thinking even the flowers are out to get me… there is hardly an in between. seldom did i feel comfortable, content, “in a groove,” or most of all – peaceful.  that wasn’t always something i could FEEL and feel okay with…

i suppose this stems from a shaky childhood and the survival instinct of maturing faster than most due to losing a parent.  it could also have to do with my astrological chart, or the fact that i am a very very impatient old soul… but the truth is, it has always been hard for me to find a balance, or to find some comfort, some love, and some peace in the every day.  i speak of this in past-tense now because i can, because i am confident in saying that i no longer live like that.  i’ve spoken a handful of times now on how i feel i’ve changed over the last year, and am continuing to.  i’ve written about not only feeling the change but seeing it actually play out.  i make conscious choices each day to effect how i see life.  what’s frustrating is when i see people in life for who they are, and all they want to do is fake it — it’s just annoying, because i want to be like “you ain’t foolin’ me” but… i have to be a friggin’ politician about things sometimes and i’m kind of over that…

i digress, as usual. Continue reading →

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{foto friday} – the time i watched a praying mantis bathe herself…

17 Aug

this was hands-down, one of the coolest things i’ve ever witnessed with my own eyes.

this post is kind of wordy – as i tend to be when i write.  get me in front of people for a speech?!  pffssthh, forget it.  i’m a hott mess.  but writing — now, writing i can do!

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last year – around this time, a little later – i’ll say late september… i found a pregnant praying mantis on our front porch, just hanging out in the honeysuckle bush my roommate has planted by the kitchen window.  i about fell over.  i’ve had a total fascination with these neat little creatures my whole life… i never really understood what the draw to them was, but last year when i saw one i did a little research.  there are lots of different opinions and thoughts as to their symbolism.  they are said to bring stillness, sense of peace, and more internalized thinking.  because they are so mindful about their every move, the mantis is known in some parts of the world as being very spiritual and she is looked upon as almost a meditation resource. i thought i read somewhere that they can also represent death… a surrender, a letting go, etc. and ironically enough, i lost my grandmother about 2 months after i saw that praying mantis last year. Continue reading →

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{wordy wednesday} – patience.

15 Aug

well well well.  what do we have here?

i’ve been in colorado for exactly a year now.  i’ve been doing the same job for that entire year.  that’s not normal for me – i’m very progressive, often get promoted quickly, move up quickly, etc.  i just have a go-getter attitude and people usually notice that.  hell, i was promoted within 2 months in new york city to one of the top managers of my store… all i gotta do is flash ’em that smile, usually – 😉

hehehe

well, as the universe would have it, i’ve once again been promoted.  i’m back in my stride, doing my thing, and i have the position i needed and wanted since i moved here.

what has the last year taught me then?  what has all that disappointment, struggle, hardship, nonsense, and hidden truth done for me?!  what has waiting, waiting, and waiting, done for me?!  what have i learned in all that?! Continue reading →

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