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{my new camera!}

26 Jun

i bought a new camera!

i have to admit, i felt slightly guilty about it at first, but i also don’t treat myself enough. and although this is a “treat,” it is also an investment.

my other camera is about 10 years old at this point. it is still reliable and does the trick, but it is definitely slower and much heavier than this new one. photography is a funny field in that you can invest as much or as little as you want into it. these days, our smart phones have just as many megapixels as some “professional” cameras. however, it is my belief that no amount of equipment or money can truly substitute for a good eye.

i recently read an article that had a quote that resonated with me :

“walker evans once said, ‘people always ask me what kind of camera i use. it’s not the camera, it’s –‘ and he tapped his temple with his index finger.'”

i can’t help but subscribe to walker evans’ approach to photography. it is my belief that no matter what kind of camera or equipment one uses to capture an image – if it is uninspired, that will be evident, and ultimately translate to the viewer. Continue reading

{“you can learn a lot of things from the flowers…”}

27 Jun

… “especially in the month of june…”

{alice in wonderland}

———

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my roommate brought these gorgeous flowers home from work recently and i gasped with glee when i laid eyes on them… then i immediately grabbed my camera, of course! actually, i waited until about 6:00 the next morning, then took them out on the balcony and sipped my iced americano while snapping images of these amazing beauties. i just love mornings… and i LOVE morning light… especially this time of year!

such pretty tulips, orchids, peonies, and greenery!

i am inspired by LIFE. not necessarily by the world, and the way we live, but by LIFE itself. these flowers are alive, just as we are. i was inspired by the stillness of these flowers, the stillness of nature… how nature just IS. the sole purpose of these flowers is to simply be. if anything, they just long for us to look at them, to bring awareness to them. and i believe when we “stop and smell the roses”, we can connect with them, with nature, in such a way that can offer stillness and peace to our own lives. after-all, i do believe we are just as much a part of nature as nature itself.

i love what eckhart tolle says about nature :

“Even a stone, and more easily a flower or a bird, could show you the way back to God, to the Source, to yourself. When you look at it or hold it & let it be without imposing a word of mental label on it, a sense of awe, of wonder, arises within you. Its essence silently communicates itself to you and reflects your own essence back to you.”

eckhart’s words resonated with me and i’ve carried them in my heart over the years. when i felt the glee i did upon seeing these flowers, i was reminded of that quote… and i thought i would post some pics of these gorgeous flowers along with some of my favourite quotes regarding stillness, spirituality, or love.

i hope you enjoy and i hope this brings some stillness to the mind and a warmth to the heart.

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“the earth laughs in flowers.” ~ ralph waldo emerson

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“the intuitive mind is a sacred gift, the rational mind is a faithful servant. we have created a society that honours the servant and has forgotten the gift.~ albert einstein

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“we need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. see how nature – trees, flowers, grass – grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence… we need silence to be able to touch souls.” ~ mother teresa

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“there is a voice that doesn’t use words… listen!” ~ rumi

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“if we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change.” ~ buddha

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“after women, flowers are the most lovely thing God has given the world.” ~ christian dior 

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“the best teachers are those who show you where to look but don’t tell you what to see.”                                      ~ alexandra k. trenfor

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“yesterday i was clever, so i tried to change the world… today i am wise, so i am changing myself.” – rumi

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“and when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.” – fredrich nietzsche 

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“be kind whenever possible. it is always possible.” – dalai lama

 ———

enjoy the weekend! ❤

 

 

{a personal post : bye bye 2014, my last blog for a little while, happy new year, 2015 – 8, new beginnings, cycles, the universe, etc etc…}

31 Dec

wow.

so i’m sitting here… alone… with my baba black lager. it’s new year’s eve. the last day of 2014. the final day in this calendar  year… 2014 was a numerology #7. 2015 will be a numerology #8. i could write a whole blog about the significance of numbers, etc. i just think cycles are so interesting… cycles of all kinds… the seasons, numbers, etc.

does anyone else get all weird on this day? like, it’s just another day really… but somehow i find the energy to be soooooo … intense. in many ways.

like, i woke up restless – what’s that about? and i slept for like, 9 hours last night.

oh yeah, it’s not just because it’s new year’s eve… it’s because things are changing… again. at least for me, personally… in my life, everything is changing… including where i live… i’m saying good-bye to the tiny home… with a bittersweet feeling in my heart.

you know they say that the only constant in life is change. how funny is that!? like, well – you can guarantee this – stuff’s gonna be different tomorrow. not everything will be different, but a lot of it will… because that’s how life rolls… it doesn’t care if we are ready for the change or not… it just keeps on changing. people change, astrology changes, rules change, the weather changes, laws change, … most things around us do NOT stay the same… including the people in our lives, and those we love.

so what’s my point? 

i dunno, maybe i don’t have one. maybe i just wanted to sit down in front of my computer and keep it real with you readers… and myself.  maybe i’m tired of trying to “keep it together” all the time… as in, always having the perfect thing to say and taking so much time to think about how to express myself… because i’m so scared of being misunderstood. maybe i just wanted to be spontaneous and sit down and write while i felt the desire, the thoughts flowing, the keys being struck with force and purpose… maybe i want to just say whatever i feel and not be worried about how everyone else is gonna perceive it…

maybe i’m just feeling the baba… 😉

so how do you feel about the idea that the only thing we can be sure of is that things change… how does that make you feel? is it comforting to know that with each moonset and each sunrise, that life can end and begin all over again?!  does that give you peace to know that tomorrow… tomorrow… the sun will come out?! or does it make you kinda crazy to know that you can’t ever really count on anything?! does it give you total anxiety to feel like as soon as you get comfortable with something or someone, there is damn good potential for it to morph into something else entirely and seem completely illusive?!

i feel like there is a balance… as with most things in life.

most days i’m so thankful to begin anew… to wipe clean the “yesterday” that never really exists in the first place… to wake feeling renewed and purposeful again. i learned a lot about the beauty in each new day when i lived in new york… it’s amazing how that city just doesn’t stop for anything… it doesn’t care if you didn’t get the memo, it doesn’t care if you aren’t walking fast enough, if you missed your subway stop, or if you aren’t feeling its embrace. when living there, i had to learn how to be so completely present that nothing seemed to really effect me to the point of not being able to continue to be in the moment.

my challenge this year is to get back to that space…

i’ve been practically beating my head against the wall trying to figure out where i went… what happened to the person that seemed to be able to really stay in the moment… to embrace it even when it was chaotic, unpredictable, and sometimes down-right scary.  where did that audrey go that i spent 29 years trying to find when i met her in new york?!

she didn’t go anywhere… it took me all of 2014 to realize that.

i mean, seriously. just this past week i had the total epiphany that nothing is “wrong” with me… and if there is in fact anything that i feel uncomfortable with – that I, personally, have the power to change it. i can and always do create change in my life when i am feeling a need for it. sometimes it’s not always clear to me, but it’s almost like i do things without even thinking sometimes… and then when i’m on the other side of it, i go, “oh yeah… i see why we did this.”

i guess that’s true with everything in life… hindsight is 20/20, right?!

well, all i know is… i’m feeling more comfortable with change… dare i say, i’m embracing it. i’m not saying i love “change” during every moment while i’m in it… but i’m okay with the idea that everything seems “fleeting…” because really… if it’s true that the only constant in life is change… well, then i wanna make sure to be so immersed in each passing moment, that i love it for what it is… recognizing that it will never again be the same… that each moment really is a gift. maybe it’s not a gift wrapped in colourful paper and bows, maybe it’s not a gift we asked for… maybe it’s a gift we didn’t realize we needed.

but it’s still a gift… if we can be open to receiving it…

personally, i’m feeling happy to be letting go something while completely surrendering to something new and exciting. for me, my personal changes happen to coincide with the calendar change… but i’ve always been a firm believer that you can choose to make a change at any given moment in your life. you don’t have to have anyone validate your decision to change, you don’t have to have a party or mark it on your calendar… hell, you don’t even have to invite anyone. you can choose to make changes in your life while washing your dishes… you can choose to create a new life while driving to work… there are no rules for that. you can live life on your terms, but in order to do so, you must live life on your terms.

does THAT give you comfort?!  it sure does me… 🙂

so, as i ring in the new year and celebrate new beginnings, my heart is filled with gratitude for all the loving people, places, and things i’ve experienced. i just want to continue to hold a space of gratitude… and to be open to new things as i step boldly out of the familiar and into the unknown…

happy new year! – to each and every one of you. thank you for following my blog, for engaging and for taking time to read and give this blog purpose… i’m truly grateful to each one of you.

 p.s. – i’m not gone forever… just a temporary hiatus while i adjust to some new things… i’ll be back to blogging in no time… 

{words to live by}

27 Nov

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——–

I’M SORRY

I LOVE YOU

PLEASE FORGIVE ME

THANK YOU

———

today, and every day…

{30-something}

21 Nov
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audrey’s perspective

it’s my birthday weekend!

Fun

classic audge – circa 2006

and i’m trying really hard not to feel lonely, weird, and slightly freaked out.  i kinda wish i could watch that show that was big in the 90’s… it may offer some comfort. but i do know one person that always makes me smile and feel better about life and all its weirdness – the late, great, george carlin.

i thought i’d share this with you in celebration of my “getting older”… you may have already heard or seen this, but it’s worth a second round, for sure!

———

GEORGE CARLIN’S VIEW ON AGING

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions. 

‘How old are you?’ ‘I’m four and a half!’ You’re never thirty-six and a half. You’re four and a half, going on five! That’s the key. 

You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. 

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weee!

‘How old are you?’ ‘I’m gonna be 16!’ You could be 13, but hey, you’re gonna be 16!

And then the greatest day of your life…You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony… YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!! 

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! She TURNED; we had to throw her out. There’s no fun now, you’re just a sour-dumpling. What’s wrong? What’s changed? 

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happy me, on my 30th

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it’s all slipping away.

Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone. 

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn’t think you would! 

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60. 

You’ve built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it’s a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!  You get into your 80’s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime.

And it doesn’t end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; ‘I Was JUST 92.’ 

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. ‘I’m 100 and a half!’ 

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!! 

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never grow up

HOW TO STAY YOUNG 

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay ‘them.’ 

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. 

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’ And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s. 

4. Enjoy the simple things. 

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. 

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive. 

7. Surround yourself with what you love – whether it’s family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge. 

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help. 

9. Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is. 

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. 

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER : Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. 

—— 

LOVE-1 bdaysunset-1

{a great reminder from the great ee cummings}

9 Nov

{my favourite poet!}

“to be nobody-but-yourself in a world that is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else – is to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight… and never stop fighting!”

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{sometimes you have to first take a leap of faith, then watch as the net appears…}

25 Oct

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