Tag Archives: family

{always look for the silver lining}

1 Jul

just a lil’ reminder 😉

 

and also, i had the best intentions of updating this blog more…

and i still do…

and i will again…

and i thank you all for your patience and for showing up, even when my presence is a little more vague and sporadic than usual as of late…

and it truly means so much to me that you continue to choose to follow along in my journey, and read my blog, and engage…

 

and i’m thinking of my sweet cousin tony today… ❤

 

and that is all… for now…

{“stray cats” – a special sunday post}

23 Mar

so – pretty much everyone knows that i used to live in new york city for about 3 years… part of me is {no doubt} still there, and always was and will be.  i miss it every day, but i have to trust my heart that i left when i was supposed to leave. the memories i made there were so special, so irreplaceable, and so life-changing that i reflect on my experiences often.  in fact, i know that i need to start writing more about them.

aside from being an old soul, i’ve always enjoyed the company of older people… even when i was young, most of my friends were older than me. when i was in manhattan, i lived with a spry, lively, hilarious sagittarius who was more than twice my age, and we were the best of friends.  don’t misunderstand – she could keep up with any 30-something i knew! i often don’t speak of her directly, nor do i of many of my friends, out of respect for their privacy.  however, this week i just had to post something in honour of the news i received from my former roommate in NYC.

straycats-1

this foto was taken in 2010 at our favourite spot, quigley’s, which is now closed. we frequented “quig’s” at least once a week, sometimes more – depending on fun events like mardis gras.  it was like our own personal “cheers” – everyone knew our name. the lady across from me in the foto is my lovely former roommate and still very close friend… we’ll call her “JG”.  the gentleman next to her is the quintessential new-yorker with the best sense of humour.  the gentleman behind me just lost his battle with cancer this week. his wife, behind him, recently had the same fate last year. i like to refer to them as the “IRISH” – because they are.

these people had a HOUSE in my heart.  not just a room, a house.  the couple that lost their lives to cancer were like family to me. quite literally – they invited JG and i over for every holiday dinner. most of JG’s family didn’t live in NYC, and obviously none of mine did either.  after a while, it became a running joke to call us “the stray cats” because we would just wander over for dinners, as they always invited us and made us feel like family.  the IRISH had a home business and they even hired me to take some fotos for their marketing.  these people were just so special to me.  when i found out about MISTER IRISH’s death, a part of my heart died, too.  that may sound morbid, but that’s how special these people were to me.  i never got sick of hearing stories about how they fell in love, or how much they remembered about the city changing, or how they knew about the “best little bakery in town” — or just their warm, kind, open, and loving spirits. it chokes me up to think about how special the IRISH’s are/were and just how blessed i am to have met them and been so immersed in their lives {and vice versa}.

things i miss most : morning paddle tennis games with a cup of coffee from the bodega downstairs, long chats in the living room with evening light drenching all the furniture, my endlessly-full wine glass, their amazing taste in art – particularly that italian painting above the kitchen table – i was obsessed with it!!!… what i’ll miss most is the way i felt whenever i left their presence… just so enriched!

so, in honour of the IRISH family, and my lovely former roommate JG – i bought these simple and gorgeous magenta carnations… they are JG’s favourite flowers.  i’d often buy them for her, since there are flower shops on every corner in new york. yesterday i bought them in honour of her, as well.  she stayed by IRISH’s side in his last days, and told him “the stray cats love you” — that meant a lot to me, since i couldn’t be there to say goodbye.  i also love carnations because they may be the ‘bottom of the totem pole” when it comes to flowers, but they last so long and they smell incredible and they will remind me of all the amazing memories i had in NYC with IRISH and JG.

flowers-1

heaven has another angel… and i know he’s being greeted with endless amounts of love.

thank you for reading.  have a beautiful sunday – and just please go out and share a little love… with the ones you love, and even with the ones you don’t.  the world just needs more of it.

xxoo

{i miss my mama}

10 May

happy mother’s day, judi!

mom

i miss you more than there are words for.  i celebrate who you were as my mother every day.  on your anniversary this year, i was strong – no tears… i even went to work – i smiled and thought of your smile all day.  but this week has been rough. i couldn’t figure out why my emotions have been so high… sometimes it just hits me, yanno?!  i miss you more than ever, it seems.  i’m a “big girl” now, and all i want is my mommy.  i want to ask your advice, introduce you to people i meet, have lunch with you, buy you sweaters and scarves, make you smoothies, paint your fingernails, and brush your hair for you.  i also miss giving you back-scratches.  i know i always complained about doing that for you, but i would do it as my full time job now if i could – and nothing seemed to make me fall asleep like a back-scratch from you… i miss the littlest things.   i don’t wallow in sadness when i miss you… i mean, it hurts – they lie when it says it gets easier with time… it actually gets harder, one just finds ways to cope.  but i do find that some moments are extraordinarily harder than others…

i always say your death was “bittersweet” because i just can’t find another word to help me accept that it happened. even 20 years later – i don’t know who i’d be if it didn’t happen, and i don’t know how happy or healthy you would’ve been if it didn’t… so all i can really do is be extra grateful that YOU were my mother in this lifetime.  that for 13 glorious years, you were the one tucking me in at night and making silly “bear” faces in the car on roadtrips to visit family. all i can do each year on mother’s day is remember the wonderful things you did for me as my mother.

i’ll close with a few of the reasons and memories i have that made you the best mom ever : Continue reading

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