{a personal post – HSP}

5 Apr

hey gang.  hope you’re enjoying the weekend.

i unfortunately have not been sleeping very well at all this week and am extremely tired and worn out.  i look forward to resting this weekend, and doing not much of anything else…

my brain has been on overdrive, due to this lack of sleep and i’m sure a hundred other physiological aspects that come along with it… and i’ve just been in a lousy headspace today. when i don’t sleep well for several days, i can’t function.  as i’ve mentioned in the past, i’ve battled with insomnia for most of my adult life. i’ve found ways to “cope” but ultimately it’s an ongoing process.  sometimes things keep me awake, sometimes i just don’t sleep well. it just depends. point is, today my brain is so tired and yet it’s trying so desperately to think, that it’s focusing on stupid crap.

however – it did get me thinking and researching more about a term i’ve been familiar with but hadn’t thought about much until a friend mentioned it the other day.

HSP – Highly Sensitive Person.

google it, it’s a very real thing. even oprah talked about it on her show once, so the mainstream is accepting it, as well. and, wouldn’t you know – i, myself, am an HSP.

i’ve already gone over about how being mercury retrograde makes me kind of “different” – and then we add this in the mix.  I have never been tested by a “real doctor” to tell me that i’m an HSP, but now that i am 34 years old and i’m looking back at recurring patterns in my life, i realize that feeling “sensitive” has always been in my nature. i heard stories about being “so dramatic” as a child – my mother even gave me messages from beyond the grave about this truth in some letters i found of hers… and to be perfectly honest, i’m sick and tired of hearing people say “you’re just too sensitive.” or “lighten up.” or “just don’t feel that way.” as if i have the ability to turn it off.  i do not – it is innately part of who i am.

today i finally accepted this as reality.  and once i did, the pain in my neck and back began to subside, and my tears lessened.  i know here at food and foto, we keep it light and fun and edible.  but sometimes life is hard to swallow… and i have to keep the truth at the forefront of my mind above everything. so, thank you for letting me share this about myself today.

i hope that more highly sensitive people will feel comfortable in speaking up and coming forward.  i feel we need to support each other. i find joy in writing and taking pictures, yes. however, i find much comfort in knowing i’m not all alone on this planet in how i feel and relate to it and other people inhabiting it.

my results from the online test on oprah.com read as follows :

You’re a Highly-Sensitive Person (HSP)
 
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14 Responses to “{a personal post – HSP}”

  1. danistrulytheman April 5, 2014 at 3:07 pm #

    aw man, hang in. just know people support/love/care for you!

    Like

    • cooking with audrey April 5, 2014 at 3:20 pm #

      i do. the good people that have remained in my life are what keep me going. thank you for being there, dan ❤

      Like

  2. anthony0358 April 5, 2014 at 4:27 pm #

    I love this, thank you for sharing this with us

    Like

  3. veronicajean2 April 5, 2014 at 4:35 pm #

    HSPs unite! Ane Axford has been an amazing teacher in this vein for me too. ❤ Understanding the challenges that come with our gift helps a lot. Glad to be walking this path with you xxoo

    Like

  4. Dragon Fruit Photography April 5, 2014 at 7:03 pm #

    Audrey I feel your pain. You’re not alone. I understand because I am as well HSP. I struggle everyday with high sensitivity, to people especially. I feel other peoples pain weather I want to or not and it really effects me. I take in their emotions. So I don’t go out to social gatherings much. I also have chronic insomnia and now addicted to sleeping pills. If I’ve had a particularly busy week my body gives out and I can sleep all day. I don’t know how spiritual you are but yoga helps me also there are spiritual books that address why we are the way we are. We’re here on earth to make this a better kinder place and help heal it. Check out the book called ‘lightworker’ by savanna arienta. There are some parts that are a bit hokie for me but it made me feel like I wasn’t alone or crazy or that something was wrong with me. Let me know if you are spiritual there are other books that might help. Thanks for sharing. And it’s nice to hear I’m not alone either 🙂 hugs. If you want to share more or hear more from me email me at agnes@dragonfruitphotography.com. Take care.

    Like

    • cooking with audrey April 6, 2014 at 8:33 am #

      hi agnes. thank you for taking time to write such a thoughtful comment. i would love to stay in touch “offline” about this, so i will shoot you an email sometime soon… i appreciate the empathy. it’s so nice to feel like we are not alone. deep down, we know this. but our environment, the news, and a few ugly people make us believe it’s a scary place full of scary people. sometimes i catch myself believing this lie, and it makes me withdraw a little more. i am very spiritual, which sometimes actually adds fuel to the HSP fire 😉 but i am learning to find a balance. to put me first, and that is not a selfish thing to do that. it actually helps others when i am taking time out for myself to regroup and reconnect to self. i agree we are here to make the world a kinder place, and to heal it. thank you for the gentle reminder. sometime being so sensitive can feel more like a curse than a blessing… but again, that’s just fear-based thinking that simply doesn’t work for me… 😉 thanks again, we’ll be in touch!

      Like

  5. realocalcooking April 5, 2014 at 8:18 pm #

    I don’t think I am an HSP but I get it. You can’t change who you are. We need you and your experience of the world in this world.

    Like

    • cooking with audrey April 6, 2014 at 8:35 am #

      thank you sweet girl for your kind comment. it makes my heart feel good to read that, and i appreciate your support over the last 2 years. you were one of my first followers!! and i am loving your “what if” segments… we all have such power to touch so many lives. you are a beautiful soul 🙂

      Like

  6. Patty Nguyen April 6, 2014 at 12:27 am #

    I hope you feel better soon, Audrey. I took the quiz on Oprah after reading your post and I received the same result as you. I’ve always known I’m a sensitive person, but I thought it was because I was around so many moronic people. Just kidding. Sort of. 😉 Now I’ll have to do more research on this. My interest has definitely piqued.

    Like

    • cooking with audrey April 6, 2014 at 8:24 am #

      hey patty, thanks for your comment! it can definitely be a challenge on some days, which is why i always claimed to be an introvert. part of that is true, as i believe any artist is somewhat introverted. but this HSP thing really gave me a sense of peace. partially from knowing that an actual “doctor” had several patients with enough common ‘ailments’ to consider writing about it… and she claims it’s too common to be overlooked but not common enough to be a “disorder” – so, that also gave me some comfort 😉 glad we met, girlie

      Like

      • Patty Nguyen April 6, 2014 at 3:40 pm #

        Yes, I’m so glad we’ve connected, Audrey! 🙂

        Like

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