{some thoughts about love, transformation, and mercury retrograde}

5 Nov

hey friends.  how was your weekend?  i took a long one, and spent some time in denver visiting a few loved ones.  my goodness was it a rich weekend.  i am so blessed to have some truly amazing people in my life. they are generous and giving and never turn their back on me.  i am blessed to have such loving friends!

i had every intent to write “mercury monday” as promised yesterday, but i just ran out of time.  i start a new job today and had to tie up loose ends in other ways and just get mentally prepared for the day.  i’ll be working in glorious aspen… it is going to be a great season!

so here we are, in the final week of mercury retrograde.  how have you been feeling over the last couple of weeks?  personally, it’s been an emotional rollercoaster.  i mean, i know i mentioned that mercury retrograde periods are when i feel most alive and articulate, and that is very true and still applies {hence the reason i have started journaling more and even started writing a book, finally!} – however, that doesn’t mean i am immune entirely to the energies that come along with it. 

remember how i said that mercury was retrograding in scorpio and it was a chance to “just let go”?  well, that meant a lot of transformative thinking, yeah…?  for me, it totally did.  i spent some time with a very close friend of mine this weekend, one with whom i have the most unique history and relationship.  he is one of my best friends, and a person who may know me in a different way than anyone else in the world.  we didn’t do anything special, but we did spend time together and what he offers me is something i didn’t realize i hadn’t had; and i am not sure i can find an adjective for it. but what i noticed was the transformation in the way i perceived this relationship.  this is a person i have known for more than a decade, a person very close to my heart.  he has seen the best and worst sides of me… and yet i still feel like the best is yet to come.

this whole weekend was about gratitude and comfort.  it was about peace and love and that feeling of being “home.”  i realized that i have many homes.  many places i can go and feel comfortable, loved, welcomed, and supported.  WHAT A GIFT!  what a blessing to have more than one place to go to receive the love and rejuvenation i need.  and what i really took from it this weekend, was just how wonderful it is to be able to recognize that in something that already exists in my life.  i transformed the way i was looking at things – mercury retrograde in scorpio allowed me to open up and revisit something in my life which i had been quite frankly, taking for granted.

sometimes i get SO CAUGHT UP in my own head. i mean, it can get really ugly in there!  and what i’m learning is i must find a way to be kind to myself – starting with the words i say in my head.  the first language i have to learn to speak is the one i speak to myself.  this is a natal MR person’s biggest challenge.  our internal dialog NEVER STOPS – ever.  and we tend to be about two-steps ahead of most people around us.  so usually when we go to say what we are thinking, it takes people time to catch up… and therefore, can cause us to feel misunderstood.

but what really resonated in my heart this weekend after the eclipse and everything – was that i am so loved and appreciated and the bottom line is I KNOW THAT.  i know how much i’m loved and how my closest friends would do anything to help me and to be around me.  so the next time those silly self-depricating thoughts try to creep in – i’m just going to thank them for being there, then dismiss them.  because without them, i wouldn’t have been able to transform this weekend, and without them i wouldn’t have been able to recognize the true power and potential within.  and really, those self-depricating kind of thoughts really stem from that old paradigm and old way of believing.

ultimately, we are a product of our environment.  and like i said last week, most of what we believe and the way we behave has been “taught” to us or “blindly implied” by our society and families… and so sometimes we may not even “believe” the things we think, we’ve just been thinking them for so long we don’t know any different, so it becomes truth.

but the beauty is, we can change.  we can always change.

change our thoughts, change our patterns, our beliefs… because you know what?  whatever you believe to be true… is.

so, choose to believe what feels good – choose to believe your heart.  i’m not saying it’s going to hand you a dozen roses covered in chocolate rainbows, but i am saying that it’s the most rewarding way to go.

have a wonderful day!!

4 Responses to “{some thoughts about love, transformation, and mercury retrograde}”

  1. Chocolate Covered Race Medals November 5, 2013 at 9:09 am #

    but the beauty is, we can change. we can always change.
    I love this 🙂


  2. IntuitionMatters November 5, 2013 at 12:34 pm #

    Wonderful, open-hearted, inspiring sharing Audrey! I am so happy for you that you turned the key to unlock the joy in your heart!! Love LUV LOVE to YOU M & Rem


    • cooking with audrey November 5, 2013 at 12:46 pm #

      perfect way to put it, my friend!! i keep thinking of that rumi quote about tearing down the walls we put up to protect ourselves or the barriers i’ve built against love. it feels good to be open, to have exposed it all – and to love every morsel!

      LOVE YOU MY DEAR!!! xxoo


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